TLFN / OVERFLOW

[silverdollar]

TEXTING THREADS / GENERAL OVERFLOW 
 

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▐ ( CRANE )

[ikonsuit]

( cont. from here )

That's an 'I'll think about it'.

( Being indebted to someone, even for something as simple as a favor, the thought isn't particularly comforting. )

Make and models? I'll tell you if it's time to upgrade.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

I'm certain it is.

[ Jon actually laughed reading the second message. Actually having to get up to go look. He cared more about his farm tool weapons than the guns. He knows what Slade will say before he even sends it. ]

About three .45's, I say about because I am sure another is around here. A revolver that I can no longer get to work, and a Winchester Model 21.

[ikonsuit]

( Crane is going to have to drop the scythes and pitchforks if he ever plans to convince people his whole thing isn't just goth-boy country chic. )

Three guns I wouldn't give to my daughter.
A missing gun.
A broken gun.
And a hillbilly collector's item.

Do I have that right?

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ He will never drop them, and never admit it. He thinks no one outside notices. ]

Your daughter is also a world class assassin. Doesn't count.
Its for aesthetics.
Fuck you.
And fuck you again.

[ He's one more fuck away from blessing Slade's heart. ]

[ikonsuit]

( They notice. )

You're welcome.

Heckler & Koch or Smith & Wesson?

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ Wait till Slade learns his taste in music... ]

I hate you.

Since I don't know the first one, let's just go with Smith & Wesson.

[ikonsuit]

I'm not Beetlejuice.

Repeating the same thing three times won't make it true.

( He's going to ignore the bubbling disappointment over his best gun brand. Who doesn't know Koch? )

▐ ( NYGMA)

[ikonsuit]

( cont. from here )

Might be? What kind of a goose chase is this?

( This professional killer only spends his professional time on professional contracts. )

Give me a lead, Mr. Self-Importance. What do they want you for?

[ainissesthai]

It's not a goose chase!

Fine. They're trying to kill me. I stole a few things from Black Mask. I didn't expect him to take it this poorly. Happy?

[Somehow he'd figured it wouldn't be a problem. Or not one he couldn't solve. So his ego might have gotten him in trouble again.]

[ikonsuit]

( Sometimes admonishment over text isn't enough. So he dials the number Riddler is currently messaging him from and doesn't ask or warn before doing it. )

[ainissesthai]

[What is this? He's slow to answer, puzzled by the sudden call but picks up, figuring it will be easier to discuss terms this way.]

Slade. I assume you want to discuss your fee?

[ikonsuit]

No, I'm here to discuss how a genius like yourself can be such a friggin' moron. ( He doesn't treat all his clients like this. Just, like, some of them. ) You stole from Sionis without a plan and just 'expected' things to work out in your favor? You need backup because you dug yourself into a hole you can't crawl out of.

I'll take care of it, you're paying for it. A jester's fee.

[ainissesthai]

Of course I had a plan! I simply made a miscalculation when it came to the expected magnitude of his retaliation!

[He'd figured it wouldn't be a big deal. That Roman Sionis of all people would take a reasonable approach to the theft and the riddle left behind. Dumbest genius ever may be the most accurate description of him.]

I could resolve it given time. [He has no idea how but if he managed to survive long enough he'd surely come up with a plan...] But I felt a more expedient approach was needed.

You know I can pay whatever overblown fee you decide to charge.

▐ ( HARLEY QUINN )

[ikonsuit]

( cont. from here. )

Didn't Back to the Future teach us not to do that?

Either that or Terminator.


Killing Hitler might make a worse Hitler.

[fantabulousandwich]

Something like that, yeah. I mean, they say that, but no one knows, right? It's worth a shot. Pun definitely intended.

[ikonsuit]

Tried time travel, once. Doesn't ever quite go the way you intend it.

( But this is leading to more dead kid talk, so he switches gears. )

You've got a time machine and one bullet. Hitler really gonna be your first target?

[fantabulousandwich]

Well all right, put like that, no.

...Damnit, now I'm actually thinking about it.

Who would you pick?

[ikonsuit]

Olivia Newton-John

[fantabulousandwich]

What! Oh come on, she's not that bad. I actually kind of liked Xanadu.

▐ ( HARLEY QUINN )

[ikonsuit]

( cont. from here. )

Tried, but they didn't fit me.

( Slade doesn't mind the silence. He knows Harley won't hang up and the distant street noises proves this. On his end, she might hear the mechanical whir of a blender. )

I was raiding your fridge and feeding your hyena. Animals love me. Gotta get him a bigger collar soon, though.

[fantabulousandwich]

[There's another silence; because Harley's slow to come down from genuine murderous fury at the best of times, and right now she's standing alone in a strip club parking lot with her fist clenched and wet cheeks and no one within punching range.]

You're a dick, you know that?

[ikonsuit]

( They've made it this far, they might as well go the mile. Slade's always been the 'go big or go home' type, as if there's some competition in throwing cinder blocks at anyone who steps over the line. There's not. )

Yes, Harley, I know that. Everyone knows that. Do you know that? You're the one slow on the draw, here.

( Slade's not quite 'down' either, but he won't be the one to hang up. Residual anger comes in the form of spoken venom, not hollered. )

Quit lookin' for things that aren't there. You're waitin' for me to make an exception for you, only you're not that exceptional.

[fantabulousandwich]

[This is ridiculous. She has to move; and at least in the alley she can lean against the wall. Or shove her fist into it.]

I'm not waiting for anything, you disgruntled dregs of the Greatest Generation. I liked hanging out with you. I liked talking to you. I even liked playing the games your particular brand of crazy requires; although gotta say, this one is less what I'd call 'fun.'

[Cigarette? Or just bang her head into the wall a few times?]

But trust me Wilson, I'm reading you loud and clear now. You want to be friends anymore? Fine. Forget about Sunday; just stay home and wallow in your own misery, like every other night.

[ikonsuit]

We were never friends. What aren't you getting about this?

( Whatever he's cooking up is put on hold. He's leaning against his counter now, glaring out into the streets of New Jersey. )

...What are you doing at Mask's party, anyway? You wanna walk into a trap to prove a point? Sionis doesn't even like you. ( Slade isn't sure that guy likes anyone besides that one face-cutting guy. The fact that he's inviting anybody to anything should raise some flags. )

[fantabulousandwich]

Oh no, no no. [The laughter is trying to well up in her throat, and if Harley loses it now, while he can hear it, she'll never forgive herself. She shoves her white-knuckled fist against the rough brick in front of her, pressing hard just to feel the scrape of it on her skin.]

Don't try to pretend you care now, Wilson, not when you've done such a good job explaining that I'm nothing but contemptible trash clinging to you because I can't stand on my own. You stay out of my apartment, and you stay the fuck out of my business from now on.

[Now she hangs up. Because she's about three seconds from screaming with laughter and punching the wall, and bedamned if she'll give him the ammunition.]