TLFN / OVERFLOW

[silverdollar]

TEXTING THREADS / GENERAL OVERFLOW 
 

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▐ ( CRANE )

[ikonsuit]

( cont. from here )

That's an 'I'll think about it'.

( Being indebted to someone, even for something as simple as a favor, the thought isn't particularly comforting. )

Make and models? I'll tell you if it's time to upgrade.

▐ ( NYGMA)

[ikonsuit]

( cont. from here )

Might be? What kind of a goose chase is this?

( This professional killer only spends his professional time on professional contracts. )

Give me a lead, Mr. Self-Importance. What do they want you for?

[ainissesthai]

It's not a goose chase!

Fine. They're trying to kill me. I stole a few things from Black Mask. I didn't expect him to take it this poorly. Happy?

[Somehow he'd figured it wouldn't be a problem. Or not one he couldn't solve. So his ego might have gotten him in trouble again.]

[ikonsuit]

( Sometimes admonishment over text isn't enough. So he dials the number Riddler is currently messaging him from and doesn't ask or warn before doing it. )

[ainissesthai]

[What is this? He's slow to answer, puzzled by the sudden call but picks up, figuring it will be easier to discuss terms this way.]

Slade. I assume you want to discuss your fee?

▐ ( HARLEY QUINN )

[ikonsuit]

( cont. from here. )

Didn't Back to the Future teach us not to do that?

Either that or Terminator.


Killing Hitler might make a worse Hitler.

[ikonsuit]

No, I'm here to discuss how a genius like yourself can be such a friggin' moron. ( He doesn't treat all his clients like this. Just, like, some of them. ) You stole from Sionis without a plan and just 'expected' things to work out in your favor? You need backup because you dug yourself into a hole you can't crawl out of.

I'll take care of it, you're paying for it. A jester's fee.

[fantabulousandwich]

Something like that, yeah. I mean, they say that, but no one knows, right? It's worth a shot. Pun definitely intended.

[ikonsuit]

Tried time travel, once. Doesn't ever quite go the way you intend it.

( But this is leading to more dead kid talk, so he switches gears. )

You've got a time machine and one bullet. Hitler really gonna be your first target?

[fantabulousandwich]

Well all right, put like that, no.

...Damnit, now I'm actually thinking about it.

Who would you pick?

[ikonsuit]

Olivia Newton-John

[ainissesthai]

Of course I had a plan! I simply made a miscalculation when it came to the expected magnitude of his retaliation!

[He'd figured it wouldn't be a big deal. That Roman Sionis of all people would take a reasonable approach to the theft and the riddle left behind. Dumbest genius ever may be the most accurate description of him.]

I could resolve it given time. [He has no idea how but if he managed to survive long enough he'd surely come up with a plan...] But I felt a more expedient approach was needed.

You know I can pay whatever overblown fee you decide to charge.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

I'm certain it is.

[ Jon actually laughed reading the second message. Actually having to get up to go look. He cared more about his farm tool weapons than the guns. He knows what Slade will say before he even sends it. ]

About three .45's, I say about because I am sure another is around here. A revolver that I can no longer get to work, and a Winchester Model 21.

[ikonsuit]

A bad plan is worse than no plan at all, Nygma. Miscalculation is another way of saying you don't know what the hell you're doing. No one's going to let you steal from them and get off scot-free.

( If he's lucky, Riddler's next time reaching out to Deathstroke won't be paired with a lecture. )

Do I know that, or will you try to steal my fine services from me, too? Try it, and understand that the expected magnitude of my retaliation will be proportional to murder. No, wait. More like just actual murder.

[ikonsuit]

( Crane is going to have to drop the scythes and pitchforks if he ever plans to convince people his whole thing isn't just goth-boy country chic. )

Three guns I wouldn't give to my daughter.
A missing gun.
A broken gun.
And a hillbilly collector's item.

Do I have that right?

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ He will never drop them, and never admit it. He thinks no one outside notices. ]

Your daughter is also a world class assassin. Doesn't count.
Its for aesthetics.
Fuck you.
And fuck you again.

[ He's one more fuck away from blessing Slade's heart. ]

[fantabulousandwich]

What! Oh come on, she's not that bad. I actually kind of liked Xanadu.

[ikonsuit]

I've had 'You're The One That I Want' stuck in my head for the past four decades.

She has to go.

[ikonsuit]

( They notice. )

You're welcome.

Heckler & Koch or Smith & Wesson?

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ Wait till Slade learns his taste in music... ]

I hate you.

Since I don't know the first one, let's just go with Smith & Wesson.

[ikonsuit]

I'm not Beetlejuice.

Repeating the same thing three times won't make it true.

( He's going to ignore the bubbling disappointment over his best gun brand. Who doesn't know Koch? )

[hosannas_of_anguish]

Deathstroke. Deathstroke. Deathstroke.

No, I guess your not. Shame, that would have been useful.

[ What did he really expect? Crane's a bookworm, and Granny sure wasn't arming him as a boy. He could only shoot cause she expected him to handle prowlers if anyone got near the old manor once her arthritis got bad.]

[ikonsuit]

I'll bring over an M&P, a Winchester, and a few SD40s. How are you looking on rocket launchers?

( Think of a Pokemon starter deck. But for guns. )

[fantabulousandwich]

Have you considered John Travolta as an alternative? I can live without him. Let's Get Physical has been on every one of my workout playlists since I was 15.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

Yeah, I will work for you again. Consider me rehired.

I do not have a rocket launcher, though I admit I have always wanted one.

[ oh no.]