oliverfield | Container for @TheOtherRobin

I mean I got drunk and high with my friends, stole my dad's car, and when I tried to sneak it back, I hit my neighbor's kid. Son.

( there are only so many ways to commit homicide, and eddie's pretty sure 'chose' the worst one. the most gruesome one. the most haunting one. )

It was an accident. Obviously. But I never had a chance to make things right, y'know? That's all I've ever wanted to do.

[ ever since he killed that guy, Jason can feel the weight of it on his shoulders, in his gut. he hated himself before, but now? now it's even worse. and that guy deserved it. he can't even imagine how much this must be weighing on Eddie.

it's bad. it's really bad, and Jason's speechless for a long moment, before he takes a long sip of his beer because he doesn't think his mouth has ever been this dry before. ]

Holy shit.

[it's more of a whisper than anything else.]

How did you... didn't you... fuck. What were the charges? Did you go to juvie?

Yeah... yeah.

( holy shit is right.

chances are eddie would feel much better if he'd killed someone the way jason had, someone who deserved it and actively sought to do harm. it's hard to say, though, because eddie can't rewrite the past and swap out a kid on a tricycle for a mass murderer, but he knows it would make a difference because he's killed — and eaten — two mass murderers now, and he doesn't feel anything close to what he feels for the neighbor's kid.

the guilt and pain he feels surrounding that is the entire core of who he is today. )

Uh, no... No charges. My dad was pretty cool with all the local authorities. The sheriffs and all. ( he's not looking at jason; he's just looking forward. there's nothing in particular in his line of sight. ) I tried to confess, but, no, he wouldn't let me. Didn't want it to ruin the family name. He broke every bone in my face until I convinced myself I was innocent. At least that's what it felt like.

( it didn't stick, though. clearly. at least he isn't in denial about any of it. he knows what his dad is, and his dad is the worst.

one beer down, ten more to go. )

Crazy stuff.

[ it's bad. Eddie's right, it's bad. drunk driving, killing a kid, getting off scot free... it's bad. Eddie was a kid too though, and he wanted to confess. Jason knows what it's like when your father beats something into you... or out of you. it's a whole different kind of emptiness.

he's quiet for a long while and then he lets out a breath and turns so he can shifts his legs up onto the couch and moves closer to Eddie, looking at him. ]

You didn't try to run from it Eddie. You wanted to pay for what you did. He didn't let you. That's on your piece of shit father. And now? Now you're doing what you can to make up for it, even if it feels like you never can.

[he can't, Jason knows it. that's not something that ever goes away.]

You're right. It was a bad thing, but that's not everything you are, Eddie. It's not your entire existence. It was a terrible thing that happened when you were a kid, but you're not a bad person.

Yeah, no, you're right. It's— I mean, I fucked up then. Feels like I've been fucking up ever since. He used all the money we had to cover it all up, for his own sake. I never wanted that. Never wanted to be innocent. Just wanted to be good.

( there's layers to this. eddie's view on the wealthy, on cops, on the criminal system. he's seen first hand that all it takes to get away with murder is a trust fund and some networking. if he's one of the people that's been mistakenly set free, how many people are in the opposite predicament, mistakenly behind bars, because their fathers don't go golfing with the chief of police on sundays?

jason's right; it's not going to go away. in twenty years, it hasn't gone away. he still spends nights behind the wheel of that car, seated in the cold, steel chair of that interrogation room. he wonders if he'll always been that fifteen-year-old, sick with guilt, stained in tears and blood. )

I just don't know if I try to do right because I want to see the world in a better place, or because I'm trying to make up for something I can't ever fix. That's more... existential, I guess. Trying to figure out the reasons we do the things we do. If they're selfish or selfless. I don't know. I'm just tired of being the problem.

That's you Eddie. That's your character, who you are. And... look, I get it. This feeling of constantly fucking up, of never being able to do the right thing. I get that you wanna be good.

[the thing is, Jason knows those layers too. he was on a different end of it all, but he's seen it all. he also knows everything Eddie's tried to do since then.]

I know you. You wanna see the world in a better place. You don't want innocent people to suffer. If you're trying to make up for something you can't ever fix, then that's just part of it too, but I know that no matter what, you'd be sticking up for people anyways, because that's who you are. Not whatever bullshit your dad pulled.

[Jason squeezes Eddie's hand, pulling it against him.]

Hey. Look at me.

( better is all he's ever wanted. better for the people who don't have a voice, for the people that society looks over of. he just wants to be an agent of good. and, sure, he's done bad along the way, like ripping his motorcycle down the empty highway at 99MPH, but he's never wanted to hurt anyone... aside from a few choice billionaires, and both of the ones on that list came down to life-or-death situations. harm for harms' sake isn't who he is. like jason said, it's not his character.

jason's just tugging eddie's hand, but all of eddie lean's forward, looking at his with drowning eyes. )

...Hey, yeah, I'm lookin' at you. I see you.

[ Jason knows this. he knows what kind of person Eddie is. he's always been on Eddie's side, even with the whole Annie thing. Eddie just wanted to help people. to save them.]

I need you to see yourself too, Eddie. You are a good person. You're not the problem. I've known it ever since first time we started talking. You're one of those truly good people, from the bottom of your heart and that's why this is crushing you the way that it is. You have a conscience and a soul, and a good heart.

[Jason scoots forward even more, wrapping an arm around Eddie, pulling him closer so he can rest his forehead against the other man's.]

You can't change what happened, we both know that. But you've been trying to change things ever since. You're good. I promise you, you're good.

Jason...

( he sighs slowly, relishing the contact, feeling years of tension leave his body. )

...I don't know what I'd do without you. You and Venom, you're the only ones I have left. Without you— I dunno, I think I'd check myself into Arkham if I didn't have you with me.

[ Jason moves his free hand around Eddie's shoulder, wrapping it around the back of his neck, the other still holding on to his hand so tightly. ]

Good thing I'm never leaving you then, huh? I'm with you through everything. Through anything you wanna do. I'm with you. But I need you to be on board with yourself too.

( brusquely, eddie pulls his hand free of jason's in order to wrap both arms around his waist. it's a quick transition, but once he's hugging onto jason, he doesn't want to let go. everything about him is grounding: his warmth, the sound of his voice, to feel of his hoodie. for a moment there, it's like he's the only thing in the world.

if you ask anyone, they'd say that vulnerability sucks. but here, it feels alright. it doesn't feel bad to make it known how much he needs jason, even if it means leaving himself completely emotionally open. a lesser person might use this opportunity to hurt eddie in the worst of ways, but not jason.

never him. )

...

Why do you smell so good?

[ Jason holds on to Eddie tightly, closing his eyes and burying his face into his neck. he knows how hard this is. he gets how much vulnerabilities suck because he's fought against his own for a lifetime. he'd never use any of this against Eddie. not ever.

at those words, Jason has to smile just a little, nuzzling into him.]

Hmm... maybe cause you love me? And wanna be with me? Also... I showered this morning in hopes that you'd wanna kiss me all over.

Yeah, man, I love you, but sometimes you smell like burgers and B.O.

( as all dudes do. it's a guy thing.

when he doesn't smell like mystery meat, or locker rooms, or fancy soap, jason tends to smell nice all on his own. eddie thinks he's just one of those people who inherited the 'good smell' genes.

possibly due to how nice he smells, kissing him all over sounds like a good plan, so he places 'figure out how to rescue venom' at the top of his to-do list right after this break for kissing jason's neck, cheek, and, finally, his lips. )

Never! I never do.

[Jason laughs quietly, kissing up Eddie's neck just the same, tightening his arms around him just a little more as he relishes in those returned kisses up his neck, trailing to his lips. he tastes tears there, and he wants to kiss them all away, as stupidly romantic as that may seem. ]

I love you.

[Jason has to say again, cause yeah, that's him. stupidly romantic, and wanting Eddie for everything he is.]

Thank you for telling me everything. Thanks for trusting me. I love you.

( you can't talk about the time your dad locked you in a interrogation room with nothing but your bruises and your guilt without an occasional bout of tears. stupidly romantic is right, because eddie would probably appreciate the effort that goes into kissing them all away.

it's been a while since eddie's been schmoopy with anyone. it's sweet. it's surprising, coming from jason. not anymore, now that eddie actually knows him. but at first glance, jason doesn't seem like he'd be the type to enjoy cuddles and cheek kisses. it's a good subversion of expectations; eddie likes that he's like this. warm, affectionate, receptive to being pulled onto eddie like a jason-sized blanket. )

I love you. I think meeting you was like fate or destiny or something. The good kind... I don't think I told that to anyone, not even my therapist. Sss. Therapists, multiple, because I was never good at sticking with them for long.

[ Jason's usually the one crying, so Eddie has nothing to be worried about, or ashamed about. Eddie was locked in an interrogation room, Jason was locked in a closet. their dads were shit. complete and utter shit.

Jason's glad Eddie knows him now and that he doesn't feel the need to hide himself like that anymore. he's clingy and needy and affectionate. he wants to hold onto Eddie like his life depends on it and really kiss him all over. ]

You know, I never believed in that kinda shit. Destiny and fate and all that. But I think you might be right. Fuck therapists, honestly. We can talk to each other. We're gonna be okay, you know?

Yeah. I know. We'll be alright. I believe in us.

( and that's pretty usual for him. he does much better when he's with someone than he does on his own. co-dependency or something. )

We're gonna need a plan, though. A couple plans.

Like, first. We're buying tickets to West Palm Beach. Tonight. One-way trip. And we can buy the first house we see. I mean, buying a house isn't like a same-day thing normally, so I guess we can camp on the beach for a few days while the paperwork clears. Campfires, sleeping under the stars on the beach. It'll only be for a day or two.

Dogs, are number two.

But before all of that, I was talking to this British dude. He might've been a time-traveler. Long trench-coat, thick accent, I don't really know what his deal was... Some kind of magician. Anyway, I think I know how to save V. It's weird necromancy type shit, though.

I believe in us too.

[despite how he's always lived, Jason does much better when he's with someone too. not just anyone, though. someone he cares about. he doesn't even think about what co-dependency might be, cause he's never gotten that far.

and these plans of Eddie's? he's right there with him.]

Okay. I'm here for some plans. Let's get some tickets and buy a house. I don't even care which one as long as it's with you. And dogs, we gotta get our dogs.

[but this British time traveler dude? that seems a little more out there and Jason looks at Eddie skeptically, but... ok. he's in for this too.]

Tell me about it. If we can save V, we're saving V.

Some blonde British dude who smokes a lot said and called me a 'bloke' he knew how to fix it.

( that's all he's got. he never got the dude's name, or his address, or whatever black magic he's working with. )

Sounds sorta like doing an alien exorcism, but... I dunno, I think it's worth a shot.

Blonde British dude who smokes and has a bad attitude? Kinda looks like he rolled up off the street after like seven too many? Goes on about the occult and all his demons?

[Jason knows who that is. he's got connections. or he used to, with Batman and all. he's essentially cut ties with everything from that life, though. but for this? it would be worth digging back in there.]

If you think it's worth a shot, it's worth a shot. I'm totally in, man. Whatever we need.

And camping out on the beach for a few days doesn't sound so bad either. Not when it's with you.

You also know the blonde, demon-hunting British dude who chain smokes and says 'wanker' unironically??

( does this guy just get around?? who is he???

it doesn't help that there aren't any heroes where eddie's from, not in his universe. there's spider-man, yeah, but that's about it. it wasn't until he met jason that he was introduced to whatever is going on in gotham. and the avengers? never heard of them. )

All right. Start packing, then.

Yeah, man. If it's the same guy. Constantine. He and Batman do their back and forth with each other. They've worked together. I can... I dunno, I can try and find out where he is, if I can get in touch with him.

I uh. I might have to get in touch with Bruce.

[he feels a little uneasy about it, but for Eddie he'll do it.]

I pretty much just have some laundry to pack up and that's it.

Batman has a drunk wizard on his payroll?

( whatever it takes to be vengeance, eddie guesses. he frowns. )

You don't have to do that, man. It was just an idea, y'know? Don't know how much a demonologist can do for us, really, anyway, since Venom isn't even from this... world. He's older than Earth. He's older the concept of demons, and hell, and God.... Which is a little terrifying to say out loud, but it's a lot less terrifying when you see that 400,000 years of living resulted in a blob who loves tater tots and telenovelas.

The dude's got major connections to anything occult. Demons literally follow him. Sometimes you just need that shit. Plus, I think they fucked once.

[ he's talking about it all casually like this because it hurts to think about. he never wanted to leave Bruce the way he did. ]

But if there's a chance, Eddie. I mean... you thought of it for a reason, right? You said he could help so we gotta find out if we can.

[Jason leans forward to kiss Eddie, squeezing his shoulder before he pulls back to grab another beer, standing up.]

Let's get to packing and get outta here. It's time to move forward. It's time to go be good people again.

Yeah? I mean, he wasn't bad-looking for a discount Doctor Who. I can see it.

( eddie kisses him but reaches for his hand when he stands. )

Hey.

Think about it.

We can find another way; we don't have to go back to Gotham if you're not ready. Alright? I love you.

( from there, he takes jason's advice and gets to packing. spending what feels like the better half of a year in an airbnb sounds like it might accumulate a lot of stuff, but eddie doesn't have much more than clothes and a laptop himself. anything more than that felt too permanent for what he'd ultimately known was a temporary home, so packing really doesn't take too long. pairing that with the time it takes to buy plane tickets, the time it takes to source two suitcases from a hallway closest, and the time it takes to bike across to the nearest airport, it leaves them with just under an hour in the airport to kill time before it's time to board. )

Did I ever mention that I'm not really a heights person...

( why did he suggest this?

there's a reason he motorcycled across the country in order to find jason. it's not too late to bike to florida, right? )

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ugh omg i just had to go outside and deal with ppl stealing my halloween decorations :(

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